Being Firm and Friendly

The best medical advice, if ignored, may kill a patient who otherwise might have been saved. That’s also true in the educational sphere. The finest teacher’s lesson, if no mind is paid to it, may lead to a student’s failure, not only of an academic course, but in the course of life. And just like it wouldn’t be the Board-certified internist’s fault if her patient never takes her sealed vial of therapy out of the cabinet and indulges on a self-destructive lifestyle that compounds his risk, it is also not the teacher who is to blame when she has fully given of herself but her student is irresponsible, refuses to be challenged, and the student’s parents have abrogated their duty and neglected to foster a home culture of respect for learning.

In such cases a teacher should not confront parents with accusations but neither should they pander to them or retreat from a dispassionate judgment of the student’s productivity.

When a teacher, tenured or not, is true to her conscience and grades her students strictly on merit, that teacher may invite reprisals from her publicity-skittish supervisors as well as bullying parents. Teachers must have the courage to endure the flak even when it may be in the form of disciplinary action that may not be confined to the school building.

In anticipation or reaction to these potential threats, a teacher has several options for pragmatic and moral consideration. But when her future livelihood starts flashing across the screen of her consciousness like the past life of an imminent drowning victim, it’s unrealistic to expect the teacher not to be in an agitated quandary.

A teacher may find it hard to maintain both her self-respect and the good graces of people who single-mindedly pressure her to get whatever they want. Without conceding her core values she must fine a way, which is not always possible, to win over disgruntled parents and supervisors.

On the first day of the school year a teacher should have established fair and realistic policies and evaluative criteria and shared them in writing with parents and supervisors who should sign for them (which is not always the same as signing off on them!)  Those criteria should be enforced with all students equally without fear or favor (regardless of their parents’ influence in the school and community),  allowing for some flexibility in case of extraordinary circumstances. All kids should be equally eligible for the teacher’s kindness and consideration.

In dealing with irate or manipulative individuals, never be confrontational, but firmly uphold your professional standards and rights and stand your ground against abuse. In the classroom, adhere to curriculum and lawful mandates, be organized and creative and show good humor and your original spark of style. And keep accurate records!

Most supervisors and parents are not bullies by nature. Some supervisors panic because of the harassment that the bureaucracy thrusts on them and some parents are frustrated by their own inadequacy. Of course some folks simply are just weak in character, regardless of their title, role or authority.

In coping with supervisors or parents who seek undue rewards and will pursue gratification by any means necessary, it takes consummate human relations skill to emerge unscathed. It is hard to both defuse rage and frustrate the ambitions of the angry boss or “consumer” at the same time.  Teachers are experts at finessed communication.

Above all, a teacher must struggle against the temptation to become jaded and cynical.  In that tug of war, defeat is not an option!