It turns out, it’s not all cocoa kisses and candy canes in Candyland. The last two weeks have been toothaches and root canals without Novocaine. The sugar coating has dissolved and I’m left with a bitter pill. In my last blog entry, I raved about my school and principal, may I now rant?
I believe my principal wants to fire me.
He has indirectly threatened to fire me now three times.
I dread going to school every day with an ax hanging over my head.
Last week, I attended a regional workshop. I prepared a lesson plan complete with worksheets for my students for the substitute. I gave the sub instructions and the materials. I also got all the supplies for my elective and ensured there was a qualified instructor to replace me in my elective class. I felt confident that everything would run smoothly while I was gone. The next day, I received news from the sub that my students had met with the principal during the first fifteen minutes of class. Apparently they complained that all I did was go over the homework and that I didn’t answer their questions. Neither complaint is true but if that is the perception, I can and have reduced the homework questions to two or three questions and conferred more deliberately. My principal did not give me an opportunity to improve. He decided on Friday that I was “unprofessional” and listed all his grievances against me since the beginning of the school year in a letter to me. This letter is going into my DOE file. Many of the items are mistakes of a new teacher that does not know the proper protocol. For example, I had forgotten to inform my CTT teachers I was going to be absent. I had informed my principal at the beginning of the work week and I thought that was sufficient, apparently not.
To make things worse, this week, these same CTT teachers complained about my role in their classrooms. They are disappointed in my performance and would like me to have a more active role. I was hired as the “the fourth math teacher” and my role was never clearly defined. So I’m in a catch-22, I have not met their expectations and yet the expectations were not described. I did not want to overstep my bounds in their classroom so I simply took their cues as to what to do, mainly conferring. It’s difficult enough to know if one is doing the right thing as a new teacher. Without a job description, it’s even more difficult. I have been told that if I don’t change accordingly, I will be fired. The administration is using coercive, intimidating, fear-mongering tactics to make demands and take advantage of my position. I was elated and ebullient about being a teacher. Now I’m discouraged, depressed and damaged by my career choice. The honeymoon in Candyland is definitely over.
