I come from restaurant kitchen where classically trained chefs wield 8 inch Global chef’s knives or 12″ Misonos. Yet, the self-inflicted cuts from a stainless steel blade are nowhere as painful as the wounds received from the invisible blade of a backstabber.
At my middle school, I have been the central character, unwittingly, in an enfolding Shakespearean drama. Jealousy, rivalry, betrayal, cunning and deceit are the leitmotifs of our play. Little did I know that I was working besides Iagos and Brutuses – “Et tu, Brutus?” In these past two weeks, I have experienced a deep sense of betrayal from my students, my co-teachers, and my principal.
I had called a meeting with my principal to resolve our issues and to find out his intentions at this point, was he determined to fire me? The UFT rep and I first met to go over the actions I had taken, post the DOE letter, to ameliorate the situation — speaking to the teachers about increasing my role in the classroom, reviewing less homework, conferring more with students to answer their questions, etc. The meeting with the principal was an hour before school started and my UFT rep encouraged me to start the meeting. The meeting did not go as smoothly as I had planned. I was still upset and I found the principal to be rather insensitive. He made some discouraging, if not demeaning and insulting, comments to me, which really shook up my composure. Afterwards, I was so upset, I could not teach for the first two periods of school in the morning so I left the building. I went to Duane Reade to buy tissues and Visine. I walked around the neighborhood until I could pull myself together, breathing in the fresh air.
The next day, my principal decided to institute a new math intervention program at the school. I would “pull-out” students from their classes rather than “pushi-in” to the sixth and seventh grade math classes. The math scores had finally come in so we could target the kids more effectively through this program. I’ll be able to assess their needs and strengths and help them progress. This was an excellent solution to getting me out of the situation with my two CTT teachers and simultaneously, utilizing my skills to reach as many kids as possible. I was relieved.
I think I’ll be able to have a greater impact on student academic achievement this way. At last, the tide is turning, there’s light at the end of the tunnel, and possibly, a rainbow after a storm? Things are looking up and I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders. I’m looking forward to meeting more students and working with them one-on-one.
