After many nights of restless sleep, an infinite amount of unanswered questions, and several failed lesson plans, I think I can finally rest assured that I’m on the right track.
Last Monday, things just all of a sudden clicked.
Granted, it was only for a day, but finally, after all of my preparation and hard work I really felt like I was teaching. It was a moment I don’t think I’ll ever forget. My first thought was “Wow, I’m really doing this. They’re all looking at me…I thought I would never be able to do this…I’m teaching.”
I almost stopped mid sentence. I all of a sudden had this realization that I was the teacher. That I was teaching. People were looking at me as I once looked at my teachers.
I had a class full of seniors and was introducing a persuasive essay project. It was a feeling I’ve never had before, more so than just feeling like a teacher, it was an overwhelming feeling of accomplishment.
Growing up, I never thought about teaching I was always scared of talking in front of others and I was never one to volunteer answers in class. I used to turn the brightest shade of red when I knew that all eyes were on me. So, as I stood in front of 30 high school seniors, with their eyes fixed on me, patiently waiting for the next line to come spewing out of my mouth, and I didn’t feel like this, I was overcome with happiness. I was so sure of myself and so enthusiastic about my lesson, it made me tingle.
This feeling was a product of everything that has gotten me to where I am right now – my work, my nerves, my hopes and my struggles – and so I can honestly say, I hope all of these feelings continue just so that I can have that high of teaching again.
4 Comments:
1 redhog
· Oct 14, 2005 at 4:07 pm
That “high” will always be there to be tapped. Just never forget that it is the magic between you and your students and the voice within yourself for your own and your students ears only. Never look for any inspiration or affirmation from the DOE. Be “dyed-in-the-wool”, but don’t be “tweed”!
2 northbrooklyn
· Oct 14, 2005 at 7:40 pm
Good for you.
3 Persam1197
· Oct 15, 2005 at 8:00 am
Ah, the teachable moment! The good news is that the magic can last throughout your career. After 14 years, I thrive on that magical teaching moment every day. I wake up looking forward to work knowing that I’m connecting with my kids. I look forward to the next two decades of that magic. Unfortunately, too many educrats have no idea about what you’re describing. Otherwise, they themselves would be back in the trenches making a difference instead of looking for lock-step systems.
Malcolm Gladwell’s book “Blink” describes the magical feeling wonderfully. I highly recommend it.
4 institutional memory
· Oct 15, 2005 at 11:19 am
Ah, an endorphin moment. You know about “runner’s high?” Well, you just had your first “teacher’s high.” Moments like that are when teaching is as rewarding as it can be.
Later, when you talk to former students, they’ll often tell you that those were memoranble moments for them, too. One ex-student of mine remembered one that happened in my classroom over 20 years ago. I was blown away.
Yours was only the first of many! Congratulations, and welcome to the big time!