I can’t believe I made it Thanksgiving without being fired! First, it was Halloween, then parent-teacher conference night, now Thanksgiving, next Christmas. I’m living holiday to holiday!
After “summonsing” me to his office for a meeting, my principal has written another letter to me for my DOE file. In not so many words, he’s let me know that I don’t have much wiggle room so I better watch my step. It’s a lot of pressure to go to work knowing your under the gun and being scrutinized under a microscope. Can’t say it’s much fun, either.
“I used to be disgusted, now I’m just amused.” (Elvis Costello) The first time I got a letter and a meeting, I was devastated. Now, I seem to have become more calloused or unaffected. Some kind of survival instinct has kicked in that won’t allow me to be crushed but instead to stand up for myself and fight back. The bully in the playground is my own principal. And since I can’t do anything about his actions, the only thing I can do is temper my own reactions. There is a famous saying by a Buddhist bodhisattva, Shantideva, concerning anger. In an analogy on protecting one’s feet, he discourses on how it is not possible to cover the whole world in leather but rather, make for yourself a good pair of sandals. So, I’ve fashioned myself a good pair of leather combat boots!
With my new mindset, I am able to not let all this stuff get to me so I can focus on being a good teacher and serving my students. I’m teaching in a new intervention program where I “pull-out” kids from their non-core classes such as drama, gym or art. In these sessions, I work with groups of three or less from grades six through eight. I pre-teach the lesson, teach the lesson, assist with homework, strengthen their weak spots, and follow-up on the lesson. In some ways I enjoy this format more than teaching in a classroom setting. I don’t have to deal with classroom management issues and I can get right to the heart of the matter. The time is efficiently used and the results are apparent and immediate. A group of sixth grade students who participate in this program got A’s on their decimal quiz after we reviewed it together. It’s very satisfying to be effective. I also like working with students one-on-one, it’s much easier to assess their skills and abilities and it’s more personable. I’m more like a personal trainer but instead of working on muscle groups, we work on math concepts – fractions, decimals, division, integers, algebra, whatever. Working with the students individually has “humanized” the teaching experience for me. No longer am I teaching to a roomful of faces but to little, budding, quirky personalities. With this kind of relationship, I am much more sympathetic to their thinking and what is important to adolescents. I’m really enjoying my new role.
