“We’re Going to Make It”

[Editor's note: Little Miss Sunshine is the pseudonym of a second-year teacher at an elementary school in Queens.]

The first few weeks of the school year is the most stressful time of year for most teachers.  Before the beginning of the school year I tried to prepare myself as much as I possibly could, spending most of the last few weeks of summer on inconceivably long lines — lines that rival that of a 75% off sale at Coach on Black Friday — just to get every crisp new poster laminated at the teacher supply store. When the doors opened on the first day of school, and I saw the first child clinging to her mom’s legs screaming, “Please don’t leave me!” the only thought that ran through my head was: I know the feeling kid. I wanted nothing more than to be with my mommy too!

As the first week of school ended, I looked back and remembered the things that had gone wrong, the students who couldn’t seem to learn the rules, and the nagging thoughts that things would never get better. As I entered week two, and I realized my students still hadn’t learned even the most basic rules, I began to ask myself several questions: What’s wrong with them? Why can’t they learn? What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I teach them? Why can’t they be more like my wonderful kids from last year?  Why did I put down kindergarten on my preference sheet?  Why did I go into teaching in the first place?

As the second week of school drew to a close, the stress of trying to get four- and five-year-olds to be quiet in the hallways, quiet in the meeting area, and quiet when there is an announcement on the loudspeaker, had become almost unbearable. I tried tirelessly to get them to remember who their partners were — their reading partners, their turn-and-talk partners, their partners on line. But that seemed to be too much for the little ones.

By the time I entered week three, I was at a point where all I wanted to do was cry, so I made a do-or-die decision to hold off on teaching all of the other rules and simply focus on one.  I figured that if I could just get the class to learn that when they hear the “beep beep beep” over the loudspeaker, it means an announcement is coming and they should put their hands on their heads, stop whatever it is that they are doing, and listen, then there may be some hope yet that I would make it through the year.

And then it happened.

It was the 16th day of school. The “beep beep beep” rang out during center time and all of the kids put their hands on their heads and stopped talking – including the student that happened to be finger painting! I looked at the small child who now had two orange handprints covering most of his black hair and all I could do was laugh. He laughed too, and so did the rest of the class. And though we completely missed the announcement that was made, it was OK because it was at that moment that they truly became my students — my kids — and I knew we were going to make it.

Tagged: elementary school, Queens